Taken From:
Sanderson,
G., ‘Teaching the Craft of Narrative Writing,’ in Reading Around Series,
Dr Fred Gollasch (Ed), Australian Reading Association, No. 1 March 1989.
The door creck
open and in walket a non-vegetarian giant.
He opend his mouth and rord. And
then he grabed me and begane to pall me nere and nere to his mouth.
Then he pushet me in his mouth then ate me.
All blood came running out and then he walket out the door.
(Andrew)
Our students are writing
more, but while we see the evidence of the increased quantity of writing,
there has not, in many cases, been an accompanying improvement in quality.
In particular, much of the narrative writing that students produce is
characterised by a flat, lifeless style that lacks reader appeal and offers
little satisfaction to the writer.
The type of writing that I
am referring to may have the following features:
1.
We don’t SEE the character(s), the action or the setting.
‘Word pictures’ are lacking.
2.
Conversation is either absent of limited and/or unnatural.
3.
Character feelings are not shown. We
don’t see the character as a real person.
4.
There is no plot. The main
character does not have a problem. There
are no plot hooks.
5.
The writer’s voice is absent. The
writing is timid and reserved, making the style uninteresting.
6.
Titles, lead sentences and character names are uninviting.
7.
There are gaps in the story. Necessary
details are missing. They’re in
the child’s head.
8.
There are no surprises. There
is no cheekiness, no fun.
9.
Sentences are too long. There
are too many ‘and thens’.
10.
Story ending is flat, often finishing with a sentence such as ‘And then
I woke up.’
How often we end up with
stories like Andrew’s. How can we
help our students write fiction pieces that they and their audience will value
and enjoy?
Lucy Calkins in The Art
of Teaching Writing (1986) gives similar examples to Andrew’s piece to
illustrate the problems of teaching fiction writing, and the difficulty of
responding to those pieces which leave you thinking ‘So what?’, those
stories that ‘go on and on, an interminable string of incidents’, such as
Jerome’s story:
One day I was coming
out of MacDonalds and I saw a car crash into a lady. The blood was gushing everywhere. Bullets zoomed past me.
Screams filled the air. I
dropped my hamburger, I was so scared. Then
I saw the criminal. I ran and ran
and ran after him until he was caught for good.
THE END
The
Art of Teaching Writing (p. 318)
Lucy Calkins makes some
suggestions concerning focussing on characterisation, plot, setting and mood.
She believes that the ‘personal force’ that appears to be lacking in
stories like Jerome’s comes to a piece of writing when the writer stands in
the character’s shoes and feels with the character’s heart.
I would like to develop
some of these points and suggest other ways of helping children write quality
fiction. I shall examine eight
specific aspects of the narrative writer’s craft – as demonstrated by three
successful writers – and I will show you how these aspects of the craft can be
taught.
The three authors whose
work I have chosen as examples are Paul Jennings, Kate Walker and Roald Dahl.
Their books cover picture books to full texts.
The books I’ve selected are:
Dahl,
Roald (1988), Matilda, Jonathon Cape, London.
Jennings,
Paul (1986), Unbelievable, Penguin, Ringwood, VIC.
Jennings,
Paul (1985), Unreal, Penguin, Ringwood, VIC.
Walker,
Kate (1987), King Joe of Bogpeat Castle, Martin Educational, Gosford,
NSW.
Walker,
Kate (1988), Suzie and the Pencil-case Genie, Martin Educational, Gosford,
NSW.
Walker,
Kate (1987), The Frog Who Would be King, Martin Educational, Gosford,
NSW.
The Narrative Writer’s Craft
When writing stories,
children are often set up with pen and paper and told to write.
This is rather like a swimming teacher who says, ‘Swim!’ and then
gives little more instruction on what to do!
By isolating and
demonstrating the techniques of writing to students we show them what they can
do to make their stories better in real terms.
Some basic writing
techniques – the ‘tricks of the trade’ – can be taught incidentally in
conferencing about reading and writing. We
can also demonstrate them specifically in mini-lessons prior to writing.
Word Pictures
Word pictures SHOW us the
character, the action, the setting. The
writer needs to write in pictures, so the reader can SEE the story.
‘Show me – don’t tell me’ is my motto for word pictures.
Example 1
Mr Wormwood was a
small ratty-looking man whose front teeth stuck out underneath a thin ratty
moustache. He liked to wear jackets
with large brightly coloured checks and he sported ties that were usually yellow
or pale green.
Matilda
(p.23)
We can SEE Mr Wormwood.
Example 2
She led him along
a dark, narrow passage and up some wooden stairs. The house was filled with junk: broken TV sets and old
bicycles, piles of books and empty bottles.
The stair rails were covered in cobwebs.
They went into a small room at the top of the house.
Unreal
(p. 40)
We can SEE the scene.
This is much more interesting than telling the reader, ‘It was an old
house filled with junk’.
Example 3
In ‘One Shot
Toothpaste’ (Unbelievable, pp 7-15), Paul Jennings has a character
called Old Monty. The only picture
we have of this person’s appearance is: ‘one fusty, old, green tooth right
in the middle of his mouth’ (p.9). Yet
the picture is powerful enough to trigger our imaginations.
Suggesting to children that
they ‘write descriptions’ is an intellectualisation. Description is an abstract concept, whereas the term ‘word
pictures’ is an actualisation. It
is a tangible, concrete term. You
can hold a picture. You can see it.
You can control it.
Conversation
Conversation should bring
life to the character giving it breath and reality.
Conversation has to match
the character, of course. A teenage
boy will sound quite different from an old lady.
Example 1
I crashed right
into someone and sent them flying. It
was old Mrs Jeeves from across the road. ‘Sorry,’
I said. ‘Gee, I’m sorry’.
I helped her stand up. She
was a bit short sighted and it was dark. She
hadn’t noticed that I didn’t have clothes on.
Then the moon came out – the blazing moon.
I tried to cover my nakedness with my hands, but it was no good.
‘Disgusting,’ she screeched. ‘Disgusting.
I’ll tell you father about this’.
Unreal
(p. 103)
Example 2
Here is a ghost with
particularly distinctive speech:
’But it don’t
look good… I must say it looks
bad fer bof ov us….’ ‘ Yer
won’t nick off, will ya?’ he said looking at me suspiciously.
Unbelievable
(pp. 36-39)
Character Feelings
One reason we read is to
discover how a character feels in a situation.
Example 1
In King Joe of Bogpeat
Castle author Kate Walker shows us the physical manifestations of the
character’s feelings: ‘Queen Dinah cried and King Joe blew his nose’, at
the wedding of their seven sons (p. 5). Later
in the story King Joe sat ‘dejectedly on his barrel of nails, his crown
hanging over his nose’ (p. 23).
Example 2
Matilda in Roald Dahl’s Matilda
hated being continuously told she was ignorant and stupid when she knew she
wasn’t. Here the character’s
feelings are shown in her thoughts (p. 29):
The anger inside
her went boiling and boiling, and as she lay in bed that night she made a
decision. She decided that every
time her father or her mother was beastly to her, she would get her own back in
some way or another. A small
victory or two would help her to tolerate their idiocies and would stop her from
going crazy.
Example 3
Paul Jennings usually shows
us the main character’s feelings. We
see characters who are afraid, lonely, miserable, worried, nervous or hurt.
Paul Jenning’s characters often make statements about their
feeling such as: ‘It was embarrassing, I can tell you that.’ (Unreal,
p. 53)
Plot
The main character’s
problem and the resolution (or attempted resolution) of that problem is the
plot. Plot is what hooks the reader
in.
Example 1
In The Frog Who Would be
King by Kate Walker, the story commences:
There was once a
frog who dreamed of being someone special, someone brave and noble.
He wanted to be a king, but he knew that such a thing could never happen
to him while he lived in a lily pond.
Will this frog become a
king? We immediately wonder if this
character’s wish will eventuate.
Example 2
In King Joe of Bogpeat
Castle, the problem is that King Joe is about to lose his fortune and
castle. He asks his royal advisor:
‘What can I do?’ (p.4).
The problem is resolved
when Queen Dinah finds a source of income that will enable them to stay at the
castle forever.
A reader is ‘hooked’
into a story that contains problems and continuing uncertainties.
Example 3
In ‘Lucky Lips’ in Unreal
(pp. 39-50) the story commences:
‘Marcus felt silly.
He was embarrassed’ (p. 39). Why
was Marcus feeling silly? We have
to read to find out. Ma Scritchet
says: ‘I have been waiting for you’. Why
is she waiting for him? She says
(seven lines later): ‘And I know why you have come’.
Why indeed? We just have to
read on to find out why Marcus had put himself in such an embarrassing
situation. These plot hooks are
little tantalising uncertainties, or unanswered questions that keep the reader
reading. Then, when we find out why
he’s there, we have to read to the end of the story to find out how his
problem is ultimately solved. Will
Ma Scritchet really be able to help?
Plot is probably the most
difficult aspect of story writing.
Writer’s Voice and Style
First person/third person
Writers write in the first
person or third person. First
person narration is ‘reader friendly’.
The writer speaks directly to the reader; there is a deeper bond between
them.
Paul Jennings often writes
his stories in the first person.
Individual Style
Paul Jennings’ language
is that of his audience – colloquial, and chatty.
His writing style appeals to children because he writes in their
vernacular: ‘they packed up’ (laughing), ‘looked yucky’, ‘kids’,
‘real good bloke’, ‘stuff like that’, ‘pull a fast one’, ‘Well, I
really copped it!’.
Children often have
difficulty relating to many of the established writers because they don’t
write in a voice to which they can relate.
Roald Dahl writes as if the
reader is beside him, hanging onto every word.
He ‘chats’ to his readers often referring to them directly by saying
‘you’, as well as referring to himself, and to both himself and the reader
(we, us).
Examples are:
‘…you could ever
imagine…’ (p. 7), ‘If I were a teacher…
I would cook up…’ (p. 8), ‘…by that I mean…’ (p. 10), ‘We
have to get on.’ (p.9).
Titles, Lead Sentences, Character Names
Titles
Paul Jennings’ titles for
his short stories are compelling: ‘Skeleton On the Dunny’, ‘Lucky Lips’,
‘Wunderpants’, ‘There’s No Such Thing’.
They sound as if they’re going to be interesting to read.
And they’ re much more interesting to write than straightforward
titles.
Lead Sentences
The writer wins or loses
the reader with the first sentence. Lead
sentences must be arresting.
Stories can open with
conversation: ‘All right. So you
want to hear the story of the ghost on the dunny’ (Unreal, p. 26), or
with a short sentence: ‘Poor Grandad’ (Unbelievable, p. 16), or with
personal sharing: ‘My Dad is not a bad sort of bloke’ (Unreal, p.
93), or in the form of a question: ‘“What did you get?” asked my sister
Mary’ (Unbelievable, p. 29).
They may be intriguing:
‘King Joe of Bogpeat Castle was not like other kings’.
How was he different, we wonder? He
was, in fact, quite a contradiction to our usual idea of a king.
His crown was
dented, his castle was crumbling and the only shoes he owned were both for the
left foot. He was the poorest king
in all the land.
King
Joe of Bogpeat Castle (p. 3)
Roald Dahl begins Matilda
with a classic understatement: ‘It’s a funny thing about mothers and
father.’ He continues his homily:
‘Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could
ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful.’ (p. 7)
Character Names
Paul Jennings uses a good
variety of names, and his names fit the characters: Old Splodge, the principal;
M.T. Bin, the dentist – there’s a brilliant twist in the story where this
name is important; Souperman, who gets his super human strength from cans of
soup; Grandfather McFuddy and Foxy, two cantankerous old men; Griffin, the con
artist; Aunty Flo, Bob’s substitute parent; Ma Scritchet, the witch; Mr Peppi,
the ice cream man and Scrag Murphy, the school thug.
Kate Walker in her book Suzie
and the Pencil-case Genie takes a look at the importance of character’s
names when writing in a classroom situation.
The teacher reads the class a story about a plumber called Bert McSquirt.
And the protagonist, Suzie, actually builds her story on the strength of
a zany character name – Eccleston Quibble-Miff Dibble.
Writers often make the name
fit the character, or the character suit the name. For example, in Matilda we have Mr and Mrs Wormwood,
the disgusting parents of Matilda; Miss Honey, the sweet, wonderful teacher;
Trunchbull, the tyrannical principle; Hortensia, ‘a rugged ten year old with a
boil on her nose’ (p. 102), and Bruce Bogtrotter, ‘an eleven year old boy
who was decidedly large and round’ (p. 118).
Risqué, Fun Writing
Children love characters in
stories who do unmentionable things like kiss, pick their nose, burp or get
caught naked. They are amused at
references to manure or toilets. Though
adults may not find embarrassing, exaggerated or impossible situations funny,
children do. If such humour is
neither boring nor harmful, I don’t think we should censor it in their reading
or writing.
Example 1
Paul Jennings has Bob whose
false tooth falls in the toilet. He
feels compelled to retrieve it (‘Skeleton on the Dunny’, Unreal).
In ‘Wunderpants’ (Unreal) the main character’s clothes are
taken away while he is skinny dipping in the creek and he has to steal home
naked.
Example 2
Kate Walker’s ill-fated
characters Reginald and Lil do a bit of smooching: ‘“You see, my dear,” he
said, “one kiss is all it takes. I’ll
turn into a prince and our problems will be over. So pucker up.”’ (The Frog Who Would Be King, p.
13). In King Joe of Bogpeat
Castle there are the exaggerated trumpet players who always play so fiercely
they break the courtyard windows.
Example 3
Roald Dahl creates a sense
of fun and naughtiness by his multitude of one liners such as ‘disgusting
little blisters’ (p. 7) for children of doting parents, ‘twaddle’ (p. 8)
for doting parents’ talk. His
villain characters say and do outrageous, exaggerated things, for example:
‘“That’s because you’re an ignorant twit,” the father said. His speech was never very delicate but Matilda was used to
it.’ (Matilda, p. 22). Trunchbull
sent children airmail out of windows and over fences, as if she was chucking
hammers in the Olympics, as she once had done. (See Julius Rottwinkle’s end in
Matilda, p. 110, and the Amanda Thripp scene in Matilda, p.
112-116).
The reader laughs at scenes
where villains receive retribution for their evils. Matilda plays several tricks on her parents and as a result,
her vain father puts his wife’s platinum blond hair dye on his ‘fine crop of
black hair’ (Matilda, p. 56) instead of his hair tonic.
Matilda stuffed a friend’s parrot up the dining room chimney and the
parents heard voices and feared burglars. Armed
with a fireplace poker and a golf club, they confront a ghost: ‘Then came the
voice again, soft and spooky this time, “Rattle my bones,” it said.
“Rattle my bones.”’ (Matilda, p. 47). Then there are the tricks Hortensia played on Trunchbull.
She put Golden Syrup on Trunchbull’s chair and put powerful itching
powder in Trunchbull’s gym knickers. The
results of these two escapades are graphically and hilariously described.
Roald Dahl’s humour is
also known for his risqué outrageous comments about things not normally
mentioned in children’s books. On
the first page of Matilda he talks about boastful parents: ‘It’s only when
the parents begin telling us about brilliance of their own revolting offspring
that we start shouting, “Bring us a basin.
We’re going to be sick!”’ (p. 7).
When Trunchbull makes Bruce Bogtrotter eat an entire enormous cake in
front of the school, there are sure to be dire consequences. Sure enough: ‘Suddenly the boy let out a gigantic belch
which rolled around the Assembly Hall like thunder.
Many of the audience began to giggle.’ (p. 129).
Surprises
There’s a surprise in the
tail of nearly every good story. Such
stories leave you with a smile on your face.
You think, ‘Wow, tricked again! I
didn’t expect that to happen!’.
For example, in ‘Gum Leaf
War’ (Unbelievable, pp. 69 – 87), the main character’s problem is
solved when his protracted nose is passed on to the two old codgers, Grandfather
McFuddy and Foxy. This is not the
ending we anticipate.
Kate Walker always puts an
unexpected twist in her stories. We
don’t expect Lil to turn into a frog herself or that Reginald, upon receiving
the froggy kiss from Lil, would turn into a handsome prince (‘She put her
little sucker foot on his big warty flipper, and gave him a kiss.’
The Frog Who Would Be King, p. 27).
In King Joe of Bogpeat Castle we don’t anticipate that the
solution to the king’s financial dilemma will be setting up a fast food
restaurant in the castle.
Matilda
is full of surprises. We are
shocked to find where and how Miss Honey lives and to discover the real
relationship between Miss Honey and Miss Trunchbull. Miss Trunchbull’s end is unforseen, though readers who know
Roald Dahl’s writing may perhaps anticipate a suitably proper ending for a
‘baddie’. Out of the hat, Roald
Dahl gives Matilda quite strange hidden powers.
We certainly are surprised at the amazing twist in circumstances at the
end.
Teaching the Narrative Writer’s Craft
Word Pictures
Writing word pictures
improves children’s stories 100% from day one.
·
As you lead conferences using published writers
or the children’s own stories, ask ‘Did we see character?’ ‘Did we see
the principal?’
·
Ask if there are enough word pictures
·
Make up collaborative class stories on the
blackboard or overhead projector, or directly into a computer.
Before you commence, have fun designing a person together.
Maybe a student keen on drawing can sketch the character on the
blackboard as the class thinks up the features, for example a seventeen year old
punk – spiked hair, safety pin through nose, dirty, tattered t-shirt, leather
jacket.
·
When I conference, I make word pictures an
emphasis. My response may be
something like, ‘That’s a lovely piece of writing Jane.
I particularly liked the way you showed me the dragon – especially the
dripping fangs and the great red eye. You
hooked me in…’
Conversation
Discuss how much
conversation there is in the piece of writing, how it helps us to know the
character, how it matches the character. Did
the writer tell us what the character was doing as he spoke, such as
‘“It’s in here,” he said, as he opened the drawer’?
Character Feelings
Find stories which don’t
show feelings and discuss how the characters are likely to be feeling.
Even one feeling in a story is powerful.
Plot
·
Children can be taught to think about plot and
to consider it when they are revising their story.
·
They need to ask:
Do I have a problem?
How is the problem solved? Have
I posed an uncertainty? Are there
plot hooks?
·
They can also analyse their story in this way:
The problem was that
……….. wanted/needed/felt ……………………………… but/because
………………………………………….. .
The problem was resolved when …………….. got what was needed or
wanted (or didn’t want or need it anymore).
·
Use the terms plot, problems, plot hooks and
solutions freely when sharing personal reading or discussing comprehension
passages.
·
Discuss problems and solutions in stories you
share. For example,
In
‘Without a Shirt’ (Unreal, pp. 1-15):
Question – What was
Brian Bell’s problem?
Answer – Ending each
sentence with ‘without a shirt’.
Question – How was the
problem solved?
Answer – ‘Burying the
old bones of Ben Byron with a shirt.’
In
‘Skeleton on the Dunny’, (Unreal, pp. 26-38):
Question – What is
Bob’s problem?
Answer – The ghost of
old Ned in the loo.
Question – How did Bob
overcome his fear and the ghost?
Answer – The loo blows
over in the wind. Aunty Flo’s
stolen painting is found in the roof. Old
Ned, having done his job, floats away.
·
Put examples of volunteered class stories or
your own stories on overheads and decide if the story has a plot.
What is the problem? Has an
uncertainty been posed? Did the
writer drop a clue or hint (something odd or mysterious) to help us stay reading
to find out what happens?
·
Praise pupils’ use of plot ‘language’,
and their attempts to check for plot when revising.
Writer’s Voice and Style
Children find it easier to
write in the first person. In first
person, they can more easily show us the character’s feelings and thoughts and
are more likely to write in a chatty, comfortable style.
In some ways, first person writing is more enjoyable to read.
I feel it is better for
children to use their own language and have fun in their writing.
Beginning and reluctant writers will find the task of writing less
gruelling if they are allowed to write in their own colloquial voices.
It will give them confidence; eventually they can go on to more formal
styles.
However, it is important to
emphasise the need for students to discriminate about where particular
colloquialisms or slang would be inappropriate. Just as we learn to discriminate in the speaking world about
what language is appropriate, students need to develop this awareness in their
written work.
Titles, Lead Sentences, Character Names
Titles
·
Encourage children to choose a title after they
have finished their first draft. Suggest
– a word, a question, a phrase from the story, an ambiguous title.
Encourage them to experiment with zany, ‘catchy’ titles.
Lead Sentences
·
Ask students to find lead sentences they like
and share them with the class, saying why they are effective.
·
Discuss the use of various lead sentences in
writing. Do they work? Why or why not?
·
Suggest students avoid leads that are long
descriptions, negative statements or action that has nothing to do with the
story. As a rule of thumb, try to
avoid lead sentences that being with ‘A’, ‘The’, ‘It’, or
‘There’.
Character Names
·
Encourage students to use made up names in
their writing. They’ll have great
fun doing this.
Risqué, Fun Writing
I have found that giving
children permission to be outrageous in their stories is a great incentive.
Children will be motivated to write for the purpose of reading their
stories aloud, and seeing their friends ‘crack up’.
Surprise
·
Say: ‘Throw me the unexpected.
Give your story an unexpected twist.
Write unexpected conversation and action. Mix real life and fantasy.’
·
When you read stories aloud, say, ‘Did we
expect that to happen?’
·
When you study stories, ask how children might
improve it by adding unexpected twists.
Teaching Craft Mini-Lessons
I also share information
about the craft of writing during simple, brief mini-lessons before we commence
writing.
In each lesson I take a
focus. Usually the class and I read
a short passage together. I provide
each child with their own copy of the passage.
I read the excerpt and then ask them, ‘Did you enjoy it?
What did you think of the writing style?’
If I use the
‘Toothbrush’ incident (Unreal, pp. 93-95), for example, one pupil
might respond ‘I liked how Paul Jennings called his dad “the old man”’.
Another child might say, ‘I liked the way the author writes: “That
way he is happy. I am happy and
Snot is happy.”’ Another child
might say, ‘I liked the way Paul Jennings wrote the conversation.
You can just imagine his dad carrying on like that.’
I try to give each child a
chance to respond in some way. I
might ask, ‘Hand up if you liked the way Paul Jennings showed his dad behaving
when he found out it was mouse hairs on his toothbrush?’ I might ask individuals, ‘What was your favourite part?’
Then I focus in on some
aspect of the craft, such as the way Paul Jennings writes in such a chatty,
colloquial style. I will point out
several examples and ask for more examples.
I might ask the class to think of other authors who sometimes use this
style. I might suggest that in
their writing that day the children experiment with the particular aspect.
I sometimes find that
children who have minimal reading experience have difficulty in conceiving
stories. In such situations, I
provide the safety net of offering, the option of retelling the same incident as
the author wrote it, or retelling the incident in their own words, with their
own embellishments. I’ve found
that suggesting retelling for reluctant, inexperienced writers is particularly
helpful to them. Students may
initially choose to retell a story, but half a dozen stories down the line they
are off on their own, writing about whatever they want, however they want!
As they write, and the more
they write, the stronger their writing becomes. Their writing reflects their understanding of the craft and
the result is quality, interesting stories.
For further reading
Atwell,
Nancie (1987), In the Middle – Writing, Reading and Learning with
Adolescents, Boynton/Cook, New Jersey, USA.
Calkins,
Lucy (1986), The Art of Teaching Writing, Heinemann, Portsmouth NH, USA.
Calkins,
Lucy (1983), Lessons from a Child, Heinemann, Portsmouth NH, USA
Graves,
Donald (1983), Writing: Teachers and Children at Work, Heinemann,
Portsmouth NH, USA.
Hansen,
Jane (1987), When Writers Read, Heinemann, Portsmouth NH, USA.
Murray,
Donald (1986), Read to Write – A Writing Process Reader, Holt, Rinehart
and Winston, New York, USA.
Murray,
Donald (1985), A Writer Teaches Writing, Houghton, Mifflin Co., Boston,
USA.
Romano,
Tom (1987), Clearing the Way – working with teenage writers, Heinemann,
Portsmouth NH, USA
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